Lil’ Sis

This year is going to be a very merry year. I have many friends who’re either expecting a baby or have just delivered. And I’ve heard many stories about how the elder child treat the younger one. Most, if not all, showed some sign of jealousy.

I’m not sure how Sze Yi would react later when the baby arrives. I’ve been reading on ways to prepare her for the 2nd one. When I found out that I’m pregnant, one of the first people that I told was Sze Yi. I told her that she’s going to be a big sister soon. At first, she didn’t show any sign that she understand me. But over time, as my belly was growing bigger and bigger, she seemed to be excited. And she knew baby’s in there. Everytime she sees me, she would say “baby”, and tries to pull up my blouse and point to my belly button. Sometimes I wonder if she thought the belly button is the baby, because she would want to touch that before saying baby. If I’m in a public place, I would not allow her to pull up my blouse. So she would end up crying. She would only be satisfied if she can see and touch my belly button everytime she wanted to touch or talk to baby. When we asked her to sayang the baby, she would kiss my tummy.

By the time she learned her first song, we asked her to sing to the baby. So, she’s been singing her favourite song, Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star at my tummy (I wish I could record that down, as this is the first song that she could sing from start to end on her own, though some of the pronounciation was out a bit).  Well, something interesting happened here. One day, hubby tried to sing to the baby (you see, he’s not been communicating with the baby as frequent as when I was expecting Sze Yi, so he was feeling guilty about it). He started with one song (I forgot which one), but there’s no reaction at all. So, he switched to other songs, and still the same, no kicks. Then he started to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and guess what? The baby started to kick! So, it looks like she’s been listening to her sister singing all this while!

Recently, Sze Yi has started to massage for the baby, or rather my tummy. She would repeat the steps that I normally do on her to the baby (start with the eyebrows, then the eyes, gently pull her nose, make a smiley from her mouth, rub her ears, then hands, legs and back). But she only did the face portion with the baby. First, she would ask me to lie down. Then she starts by using her fingers as if shaping the baby’s eyebrows on my tummy, and then pull my belly button (as if pulling the baby’s nose. Hubby always asked me to stop her because sometimes she’s pulling a bit too hard!) and proceed with the smiley, etc. Well, she also used to massage for me, including my hands and legs as well, just like how I did to her.  I wish she would continue doing this when she’s bigger

I’ve also started to read her bedtime stories since Dec last year and she seemed to be enjoying it. It’s been a routine now, and she would request a certain story to be read. What turns out the most tiring thing is that she would want me to start over again when the story has finished. Well, at times, she would ask me or hubby to lie down and she started reading to us or the baby. Here’s how she would go, “Ali Baba,” turn to the next page: “Ali Baba,”, flip the page, “Ali Baba,” (repeating for every page until the last, and then followed by “The End”. And then she closed the book. She would expect a clap from us when she’s done.

Is she ready for the baby? Well, I’m not sure. There were also times when we told her that she needs to share her toys with the baby, and she would say “mai!”. I guess time will tell.

TV – A Companion or A Foe?

Should children be exposed to television? Many felt that with parent’s supervision and by limiting the amount of television viewing, it would help educate the child instead. It’s often when things go beyond the boundary that the negative effects start to set in.

The American Association of Pediatrics recommends no more than 2 hours a day for children over 2 years old and no television viewing for children under two. That’s because they should spend more time exploring or interacting with other real things instead of being remotely controlled by the television.

Hmm… it looks like I have been violating this rule of thumb, since Sze Yi has been watching TV for more than 2 hours a day. It was our faults initially because we left the TV on most of the time. Well, maybe I should blame hubby, coz he’s a couch potato to begin with. Once he reaches home, the first thing he does is switch on the TV. But if I can stop him from doing that, I can’t with MIL. She’s also a TV addict and before Sze Yi was born, the TV is her great companion. So, Sze Yi grew up in such an environment where everyone is always watching the TV, and after she was introduced to her favourite channels, Ceria and Disney, she began to request her TV time too.

After we moved to our new condo, I got a better control of things. But it’s still difficult because Sze Yi was already addicted by then. And then the Baby Einstein’s fever began an attack on my breastfeeding buddies, and everyone started to be excited over it. I, being the kiasu type, wouldn’t want to be left out, so I bought one copy for Sze Yi as well. Not enough with that, when hubby went to US, I asked him to buy more. Here’s her total collections as of today:

It took me a while to get Sze Yi to watch these, as she still prefers Barney from the rest. Well, soon I started to get more Barney CDs for her, as I find it not good for her to keep on watching the same one over and over again. She could watch one non-stop for the whole day, and laugh along as if she understand what they are talking about. In fact, she could nearly memorize all the sequence of events, and could tell us what is coming next. I also noticed that her vocab has improved vastly, and she could hum and dance along the songs as well. Baby Bop has become her favourite character, she refered to her as Bap until at one time we were all confused if she’s Baby Bap or Baby Bop :)

Over time, she learnt how to operate the DVD player. She could turn on the player, press the eject button, place the CD in and then close it, and finally hit PLAY!

So, what have we tried to limit her from watching too much TV? I started by telling her NO, which of course did not work. We also limit her viewing time, which will always get extended when the limit is coming to an end, because she wouldn’t let us switch off the TV. And I’ve tried keeping all her CDs in my room, which she later found out where and would lead me to it and ask me to get them (they are very high up on my shelves). So, in the end, hubby have no choice, but would unplug the astro decoder and DVD player and hide them away (He even considered taking out the whole LCD screen and put that away). So when she asked for TV, we’ll just say it’s gone, and she seemed contented with the answer. Life goes on, but suddenly she chance upon the secret place where Daddy hid those things. So, she would request us to put them up again, which we sometimes comply, depending on whether she’s a good girl or not. Well, but since Daddy can’t live without his English Premium League, once in a while the Astro Decoder would appear again, and since it’s rather troublesome to plug and unplug them, he just left it there most of the time, unless Sze Yi becomes out of control. And we also found another way which does the trick – that is by setting the timer to automatically switch off after 30 minutes. Well, intially it worked very well, but later she found out that she could actually turn on the TV again to get it to continue showing. Sometimes, she would protest when it got turned off. So, we would normally leave the living room when we know it’s about to turn off, so that she wouldn’t suspect that we’re turning it off. Well, that still works most of the time

We’re still dilligently trying to get her to watch less TV nowadays, and I just chance upon this website on some of the tips to overcome this: http://www.wholefamily.com/aboutyourkids/child/television_1.html

Maybe I should try them out soon. Wish me luck!

Leftie Vs Rightie

Recently a friend of mine asked me if Sze Yi is left-handed or right-handed. I was taken aback because I have never really thought about it. I just remembered once when I first taught her how to eat, I noticed that she would use her left hand to feed herself. I tried to correct her then, because my father corrected me to write with my right hand too when I was small. Besides that, I also observed that she prefer to use her left hand when she shook hand with people. Other than that, I couldn’t really remember if she used her left hand more or the right more when it comes to picking things, writing, etc. My friend told me that we could tell if our child is a leftie or rightie by as young as when she’s still a baby, by observing which hand is more active.

We further discussed if being a leftie has any advantages or disadvantages over a rightie. I thought that being a leftie means that you’re more gifted and creative because you processed the info with your right brain.The right hemisphere of the brain is where we know a lot of the creativity is centred. In fact, many of my leftie friends are talented people. However, since this is a rightie’s world, many things were designed for their convenience, and thus a leftie could lose out from this perspective.

We were then wondering if it’s ok to correct a child if she’s left-handed. I felt that it’s ok, because my mother told me that I started to write with my left hand but my father managed to correct me and I’m now using my right hand to write. But I noticed that I still do some other tasks with my left hand, for instance brushing my teeth and listening to the telephone. So am I also a leftie but was transformed into a rightie? However, my friend thought otherwise. She felt that we should not correct the child because that would make her less comfortable in completing a certain task, and thus reduced her confidence.

After this little conversation, I went to do some info-searching from the web. I found there’s another term – ambidextrous, which means that you can do things equally with each hand. Hmmm… since I can only write well with my right hand, but not equally good with my left hand, so I’m actually called mixed-handed! That is interesting.

The main difference between lefties and righties up in the brain is that the right-handed individual is going to be controlled predominantly by the left side of the brain while left-handed people are controlled by the right side of the brain – according to Melbourne psychologist Simon Forbes. However, being a mixed hander, there is a side of the brain which is more dominant – we could find out with a brain scan. And the telltale test is how our brain handles language. If our language centres are all in the left hemisphere, then our brain is organized like that of a typical right hander – when it comes to language. However, different aspect, like creativity might be different. That could explain why some people are mixed-handed.

I then chanced upon this site written by pediatrician Dr. Lewis First from Vermont Children’s Hospital, which I think answered most of my questions about this issue. Here’s a summary of that:

1. Left handed is hereditary. The percentage of a child being left-handed depends on both parents’ handedness. However if both of the parents are right-handed, there is still a 2% chance of the child being a leftie.
2. Some sources said that the first clue to predict whether a newborn will be left-handed or right-handed is to see the way the babies turn their heads. If like most newborns it’s to the right, then they are more likely to be right-handed. Lefties turn to the left. However, according to Dr. Lewis, it is not until the child is approximately two years old that parents can fairly accurately determine which hand is preferred. That’s because most infants will begin to reach for things with their right hand beginning at 5-6 months, and they will shortly begin to use the left hand as well.
3. While some studies suggest lefties are more accident prone, it is actually the simple result of having to survive in a world largely designed for right-handed people.
   
4. It is better not to transform a leftie into a rightie, because studies have shown that this leads to problems with reading, writing, speaking, and other motor skills, along with frustration with school and school work. Instead, if you’re a rightie trying to teach a leftie, just sit opposite your child, and be their mirror – they will learn a task like tying shoes more quickly.

And I also found out that there is another theory which postulates that prenatal experience does influence handedness, explaining that increased levels of testosterone exposure in the womb decreases development of the left hemisphere of the brain. That would explain the higher incidences of left handedness in males, but also among multiples, since hormone levels are increased during pregnancy with multiples. However, I have also read about there are more women being left-handed, so now I’m not sure which theory is correct.

Anyway, I went home to check on Sze Yi, and started to ask her to pass me her toys, books, etc. She used her right hand. Then I gave her a pencil and asked her to write something on a piece of paper. She automatically use the right hand too. So I’m quite convinced that she’s a rightie afterall!