A Blessing in Disguise

Yesterday, while I was getting ready to Church, Sze Yi woke up. She sensed that I was going out without her, so she started to cling to me. In the end, I agreed to bring her along. I quickly changed her and prepared her things in less than 10 minutes and off we went. Hubby dropped us first, while he went to have his breakfast. You see, initially it was only me going to Church, and I’ve taken my breakfast. But because Sze Yi wanted to follow along, hubby decided to drive us there. He just woke up by the way ;P

In Church, I carried Sze Yi in. I thot everything was going to be fine, but the moment she entered the Church, she started to point at the direction where we came, and asked me to go back out instead. She kept saying “pooh”, because my car has lots of the Winnie the Pooh bears, signalling that she wanted to go back to the car. I was persistent, as we were already late for Mass, and walked straight in, ignoring her protests. I did the sign of cross (also helped her with it) and knelt down to pray, all the while carrying her because she wouldn’t want to be let down. After I was done with my prayers, we sang the entrance hymn, which helped to quieten her down a bit. However, when the reading started, she began to make noises and I was forced to make a move or else she would disturb the rest of the parishioners.

I carried her to the benches at the back and tried to find a place to fit in. However, she wouldn’t let me sit down and insisted to go out. So I took her out for awhile, calling Daddy for rescue. However, Daddy couldn’t be reached because he didn’t turn on his handphone! So I have no choice but to bring Sze Yi around. I tried to bring her to the Blessed Sacrament Chapel, but she’s making too much noise so I took her out again. I then took her to see the Mother Mary Statue, and make a little prayer there. I helped her do the sign of cross as well. We then walked along the garden and I put her down at the swing, which she enjoyed very much. All the time, I kept calling hubby to try my luck, but he still haven’t turn on his handphone . Finally I left him an sms and decided to bring Sze Yi back into the Church.

This time, I tried to find a place at the back rows with a child about her age so that she would be interested. Finally I found a cute little girl, slightly older than her, but still a toddler and there’s a place for me to sit as well. I kept telling Sze Yi how good that girl was. Not too long later, Sze Yi was focussing on her childish antics, and I quickly use that precious time to catch up with the readings. By the way, I’ve missed all the readings and it was homily then.

After awhile, hubby came. He carried Sze Yi out so that I could concentrate. They never came back in. After Mass ended, I went out but they were nowhere in sight. So I called hubby, and was told that he brought Sze Yi to see 2nd Chik Chik since Sze Yi wanted to so much (he’s just staying nearby, very close to our church). No doubt Sze Yi was very attached to him, because he really doted on her. In fact, while we were staying with them last time, this 2nd Chik Chik of hers has been a great help  – he always relieved me by playing with Sze Yi so that I could do my things, like bathe, eat, etc.

All in all, I was very disappointed and angry with Sze Yi because I’ve missed more than half of the Mass, and in the end, she didn’t participate as well. If this happened a few years back, I would attend a 2nd Mass again if I even missed the first reading (hubby would be very worried too because he’d need to take me to another Church and check when is the next available Mass). However, now I can’t afford to do this after Sze Yi came along. I’ve always dreamt of having her with me during Mass, but I guess it’s not easy. She’s still small and could not understand, considering the fact that I only took her to Church once in a while, that is whenever hubby could accompany us.

That evening, I took MIL and Sze Yi to Queensbay Mall while hubby went for his badminton games. We felt hungry so we decided to have dinner in Kenny Rogers and tapau something back for hubby, instead of coming out for dinner again later. While we were waiting for our orders, Sze Yi started to do the sign of cross! MIL initially thought she was doing the “head and shoulder, knees and toes” dance, because she touched her forehead, skipped the sternum and straightaway touched her two shoulders. But I could tell it’s the sign of cross very well since she did the Amen sign as well. I told MIL, and she was very surprised because only this morning I took her to church, and she could learn that so fast! I was amazed too, and felt really happy about this.

Back home, Sze Yi demonstrated the sign of cross to Daddy. She started by signing on her forehead, skipped the middle part (….and of the Son…), and straight away did the ”and the Holy Spirit” sign, in the right sequence – left shoulder, followed by the right shoulder. And the highlight of the whole act is that she actually bent both her knees a little when putting her hands together for the Amen sign. I have no idea where she learnt that. It was so cute, even hubby was amazed and can’t help laughing when she did the little bent. I wish I could have that recorded and shared here, but it’s not easy.

Guess the whole morning incident was actually a blessing in disguise after all, and I felt really proud of my girl Praise the Lord!

TV – A Companion or A Foe?

Should children be exposed to television? Many felt that with parent’s supervision and by limiting the amount of television viewing, it would help educate the child instead. It’s often when things go beyond the boundary that the negative effects start to set in.

The American Association of Pediatrics recommends no more than 2 hours a day for children over 2 years old and no television viewing for children under two. That’s because they should spend more time exploring or interacting with other real things instead of being remotely controlled by the television.

Hmm… it looks like I have been violating this rule of thumb, since Sze Yi has been watching TV for more than 2 hours a day. It was our faults initially because we left the TV on most of the time. Well, maybe I should blame hubby, coz he’s a couch potato to begin with. Once he reaches home, the first thing he does is switch on the TV. But if I can stop him from doing that, I can’t with MIL. She’s also a TV addict and before Sze Yi was born, the TV is her great companion. So, Sze Yi grew up in such an environment where everyone is always watching the TV, and after she was introduced to her favourite channels, Ceria and Disney, she began to request her TV time too.

After we moved to our new condo, I got a better control of things. But it’s still difficult because Sze Yi was already addicted by then. And then the Baby Einstein’s fever began an attack on my breastfeeding buddies, and everyone started to be excited over it. I, being the kiasu type, wouldn’t want to be left out, so I bought one copy for Sze Yi as well. Not enough with that, when hubby went to US, I asked him to buy more. Here’s her total collections as of today:

It took me a while to get Sze Yi to watch these, as she still prefers Barney from the rest. Well, soon I started to get more Barney CDs for her, as I find it not good for her to keep on watching the same one over and over again. She could watch one non-stop for the whole day, and laugh along as if she understand what they are talking about. In fact, she could nearly memorize all the sequence of events, and could tell us what is coming next. I also noticed that her vocab has improved vastly, and she could hum and dance along the songs as well. Baby Bop has become her favourite character, she refered to her as Bap until at one time we were all confused if she’s Baby Bap or Baby Bop :)

Over time, she learnt how to operate the DVD player. She could turn on the player, press the eject button, place the CD in and then close it, and finally hit PLAY!

So, what have we tried to limit her from watching too much TV? I started by telling her NO, which of course did not work. We also limit her viewing time, which will always get extended when the limit is coming to an end, because she wouldn’t let us switch off the TV. And I’ve tried keeping all her CDs in my room, which she later found out where and would lead me to it and ask me to get them (they are very high up on my shelves). So, in the end, hubby have no choice, but would unplug the astro decoder and DVD player and hide them away (He even considered taking out the whole LCD screen and put that away). So when she asked for TV, we’ll just say it’s gone, and she seemed contented with the answer. Life goes on, but suddenly she chance upon the secret place where Daddy hid those things. So, she would request us to put them up again, which we sometimes comply, depending on whether she’s a good girl or not. Well, but since Daddy can’t live without his English Premium League, once in a while the Astro Decoder would appear again, and since it’s rather troublesome to plug and unplug them, he just left it there most of the time, unless Sze Yi becomes out of control. And we also found another way which does the trick – that is by setting the timer to automatically switch off after 30 minutes. Well, intially it worked very well, but later she found out that she could actually turn on the TV again to get it to continue showing. Sometimes, she would protest when it got turned off. So, we would normally leave the living room when we know it’s about to turn off, so that she wouldn’t suspect that we’re turning it off. Well, that still works most of the time

We’re still dilligently trying to get her to watch less TV nowadays, and I just chance upon this website on some of the tips to overcome this: http://www.wholefamily.com/aboutyourkids/child/television_1.html

Maybe I should try them out soon. Wish me luck!

A Terrible Experience

Since Sze Yi had been coughing for more than 2 weeks, we decided to take her to see Dr. Lim. It was not a bad cough, just occasionally and very rare. However, when it came, she could be coughing away until she sounded like wanting to vomit. This caused us really worried, as we’re not sure what’s causing this.

I asked her if she wanted to see Dr. Lim, she would laugh and then said “Ai”. I’ve been preparing her for the visit by imitating the way Dr. Lim will take her temperature, and say “Ah… open your mouth”. She played along happily.

Well, the moment she stepped into Pantai Mutiara Hospital, she panicked and directed me to turn back. I was carrying her, but at the way she’s struggling, it was quite difficult to handle her. I tried to tell her it’s ok, that she needed to see a doctor because she’s coughing, but to no avail. So, I had to purposely make a few rounds and told her that we need to find Daddy (hubby dropped us off at the entrance to find a parking) to go back. Everywhere I went, she could sense the direction was not correct and pointed to the entrance. Finally I managed to convince her that there’s a play place up there, and thank goodness she agreed. So, I quickly took her into the lift, up we went and finally we arrived at Dr. Lim’s clinic. When she saw the slide, play house, etc. she started playing there happily. Then the nurse asked to have her weight taken, but she struggled away. I’m not sure if we finally got an accurate measurement, but she’s 11kg That’s a relieve, because she’s been sick and I don’t expect her to gain any weight since the last visit.

Well, Daddy then arrived and played with her. Before long, we were called in. It was a great parents-baby struggle (2 vs 1, and yet she seemed stronger than us). She wouldn’t want to go into Dr. Lim’s clinic! And when we forced her, she was very stubborn and gave a very good fight, struggling with all her might and crying non-stop, as if some terrible monster were coming at her. We tried to soothe her, coax her, and reason with her, but she was crying and struggling too much until we need a few more pair of hands to hold her, or she’ll drop off. Gosh, it’s really a terrible experience, not only for her, but for me as well. She seemed so helpless, but never wanted to give in. From here, both hubby and me realised what a stubborn and strong-willed girl we have. She never once rested or gave in, and fought all she could with everyone, kept calling Mama and Mai at the same time.

In the end, Dr. Lim gave up and told me he can’t diagnose what’s wrong with her, since she wouldn’t let him hear her breathing. Hubby quickly took Sze Yi out while I stayed on to find out what’s wrong with her. According to Dr. Lim, there were a few possibilities that caused her to cough- either a blocked nose, lung infection, or sore throat. So, since he’s not able to hear Sze Yi’s breathing properly (due to her screaming), he decided to give her the following to try out:

i. Rhinathiol Promethazine, which is for unproductive and irritative coughs particularly nocturnal coughs – this is to cure the phlegm and throat 

ii. Ventolin Syrup (Salbutamol Sulfate) – to treat the lung

iii. Fluimucil A (N-Acetylcysteine), in sachets form, need to be disolved in water – this ia also for the phelgm.

I was told to bring her back if her cough didn’t stop in 3 days. So I thanked him and left. Sze Yi and Daddy were happily waiting for me outside, at the play place. We went to get the medicine and went home. Throughout the journey, Daddy kept teasing Sze Yi, “We go and see Dr. Lim, ok?”, which would start making her cry again. But after a few times, she got the joke and replied him with a laugh and a big ”hahaha” instead!

We’ve been feeding her the medicine diligently, and started to see some improvements after 1 day. But when I read the description on the Rhinathiol that an overdose could cause the child to be in coma (and it’s only supposed to be given to children above 1 year old) I was worried and called Dr. Lim to check. Furthermore, MIL told me that after Sze Yi took it for the first time, she’s been sleeping for really really long. Before calling him, I told Sze Yi that I’m going to call Dr. Lim to check on something. She was very apprehensive and stood near the phone, looking at me intently. After I finished talking to Dr. Lim, she was relieved and went back doing her things again. Well, according to Dr. Lim, that’s what stated for all cough syrup and he’s already prescribe a lower dosage than recommended in the description. He told me that if I’m still worried, I could further lower it down to 3.5ml (previously was 4ml). So, we continued the medication for 3 days, with a lower dosage for the Rhinathiol. She seemed to love the sachet type drink, but it was not so easy with the other 2. Anyway, a treat on Barney CD always did the trick. And of course the thought of going back to see Dr. Lim would make her take the medicine too. Since then, everytime I asked her if she still have cough after I returned from work, she would reply me with “Boh”.

After this experience, I started to ask myself if it’s wise to change her PED? Since Sze Yi just wouldn’t give Dr. Lim a chance, it’s so difficult to diagnose her and she needs to take so many medications to actually know what’s wrong with her. Well, that’s something to consider, will see how… 

Leftie Vs Rightie

Recently a friend of mine asked me if Sze Yi is left-handed or right-handed. I was taken aback because I have never really thought about it. I just remembered once when I first taught her how to eat, I noticed that she would use her left hand to feed herself. I tried to correct her then, because my father corrected me to write with my right hand too when I was small. Besides that, I also observed that she prefer to use her left hand when she shook hand with people. Other than that, I couldn’t really remember if she used her left hand more or the right more when it comes to picking things, writing, etc. My friend told me that we could tell if our child is a leftie or rightie by as young as when she’s still a baby, by observing which hand is more active.

We further discussed if being a leftie has any advantages or disadvantages over a rightie. I thought that being a leftie means that you’re more gifted and creative because you processed the info with your right brain.The right hemisphere of the brain is where we know a lot of the creativity is centred. In fact, many of my leftie friends are talented people. However, since this is a rightie’s world, many things were designed for their convenience, and thus a leftie could lose out from this perspective.

We were then wondering if it’s ok to correct a child if she’s left-handed. I felt that it’s ok, because my mother told me that I started to write with my left hand but my father managed to correct me and I’m now using my right hand to write. But I noticed that I still do some other tasks with my left hand, for instance brushing my teeth and listening to the telephone. So am I also a leftie but was transformed into a rightie? However, my friend thought otherwise. She felt that we should not correct the child because that would make her less comfortable in completing a certain task, and thus reduced her confidence.

After this little conversation, I went to do some info-searching from the web. I found there’s another term – ambidextrous, which means that you can do things equally with each hand. Hmmm… since I can only write well with my right hand, but not equally good with my left hand, so I’m actually called mixed-handed! That is interesting.

The main difference between lefties and righties up in the brain is that the right-handed individual is going to be controlled predominantly by the left side of the brain while left-handed people are controlled by the right side of the brain – according to Melbourne psychologist Simon Forbes. However, being a mixed hander, there is a side of the brain which is more dominant – we could find out with a brain scan. And the telltale test is how our brain handles language. If our language centres are all in the left hemisphere, then our brain is organized like that of a typical right hander – when it comes to language. However, different aspect, like creativity might be different. That could explain why some people are mixed-handed.

I then chanced upon this site written by pediatrician Dr. Lewis First from Vermont Children’s Hospital, which I think answered most of my questions about this issue. Here’s a summary of that:

1. Left handed is hereditary. The percentage of a child being left-handed depends on both parents’ handedness. However if both of the parents are right-handed, there is still a 2% chance of the child being a leftie.
2. Some sources said that the first clue to predict whether a newborn will be left-handed or right-handed is to see the way the babies turn their heads. If like most newborns it’s to the right, then they are more likely to be right-handed. Lefties turn to the left. However, according to Dr. Lewis, it is not until the child is approximately two years old that parents can fairly accurately determine which hand is preferred. That’s because most infants will begin to reach for things with their right hand beginning at 5-6 months, and they will shortly begin to use the left hand as well.
3. While some studies suggest lefties are more accident prone, it is actually the simple result of having to survive in a world largely designed for right-handed people.
   
4. It is better not to transform a leftie into a rightie, because studies have shown that this leads to problems with reading, writing, speaking, and other motor skills, along with frustration with school and school work. Instead, if you’re a rightie trying to teach a leftie, just sit opposite your child, and be their mirror – they will learn a task like tying shoes more quickly.

And I also found out that there is another theory which postulates that prenatal experience does influence handedness, explaining that increased levels of testosterone exposure in the womb decreases development of the left hemisphere of the brain. That would explain the higher incidences of left handedness in males, but also among multiples, since hormone levels are increased during pregnancy with multiples. However, I have also read about there are more women being left-handed, so now I’m not sure which theory is correct.

Anyway, I went home to check on Sze Yi, and started to ask her to pass me her toys, books, etc. She used her right hand. Then I gave her a pencil and asked her to write something on a piece of paper. She automatically use the right hand too. So I’m quite convinced that she’s a rightie afterall!

 

A Battle Against the Virus

I’m not sure if I’m being superstitious. I’ve been commenting on how big Sze Yi looked compared to the rest of the kids her age. Actually I was rather worried if she would be a very big size girl next time. And not long after that, she started to fall sick. There’s a chinese myth that forbid us to say things like that in front of the child, but I don’t really believe this.

However, last Sunday, I noticed that Szeyi was suddenly quite attached to me again, without any apparent reason. She wanted me to carry her and go for a walk, so that she could sleep on my shoulder while I carried her. She normally does this when she has difficulty in getting to sleep. I noticed that she was a little bit warmer than usual, but I didn’t suspect anything. However, after the walk, I felt that her temperature was not improving. I quickly measured her temperature, 36.8′C. Mine was 36.2′C. Still not considered as fever, but since it didn’t get better I decided to give her a dose of paracetamol.

Towards evening, her temperature stayed at around this level, but her body was very warm. We put a wet towel on her forehead, which she eventually pushed away. Hubby wanted to take her to our paedetrician, Dr. Lim but I asked him to wait, since she hadn’t reach 37′C. From our past experience, the paed won’t do anything if there’s no fever. Night came, and she went to sleep. We were monitoring her temperature closely. She didn’t show any sign of discomfort, like flu or cough, so it was beyond us why she could suddenly have fever. At around 2am, she woke up. Her whole body was hot. The thermometer showed 37.3′C. We fed her paracetamol (she was very good this time, didn’t really push it away but took it from the spoon directly since we told her she’s having fever). I continued to sponge her forehead until it went down to 36.8′C and then I went to sleep.

We took her to see Dr Lim the next morning. When Sze Yi saw Dr. Lim, she quickly insisted to be taken out from his clinic. She wouldn’t let him touch her and cried so pitifully. Poor girl, she asscociated him with jabs and pain, so everytime we took her to see him, she would grow very apprehensive. In between all her stuggles, Dr. Lim managed to check on her quickly, and confirmed my suspicions that Sze Yi was having a bad sore throat. However, he didn’t prescribe us any antibiotics since he prefered her to fight the virus on her own. According to him, it’s just another viral infection. So he prescribed us Ventolin expectorant (for her cough, since she coughed occasionally, although not serious), Polaramine Syrup (for her runny nose, also just a mild one) and Paracetamol for her fever (her temperature was 37.3′C when he measured her).    

It was not that hard to feed her the medicines, as she was very co-operative. But she hates the cough syrup (whitish in color) and it took hubby some persuasive power to convince her that it’s ok. Hubby would say “sweet sweet” and we gently coaxed her to take it. She was very good. It worked well with both the syringe and the spoon. However, she was very demanding especially when it comes to Barney. She would keep on insisting to watch Barney. We relented because she was sick. We also used that as a bribe for her to take her medicine (chuckled)! 

That night, after she slept (the 2nd night that she got fever), MIL went in to check on her. She noticed that her temperature suddenly shot up and so she sponged her body. However, Sze Yi was shivering. Hubby got really worried so we took her to the Hope Specialist in Tanjung Bungah because Pantai was already closed by then. If we went to Pantai, it would be considered as an emergency and they had to page for Dr. Lim.

When we reached Hope, we had a hard time trying to get Sze Yi’s weight. She wouldn’t want to stand on the weighing scale, so I have to weigh both of us, and then minus my own weight. Her weight was around 10.4kg. Later, when she saw all the toys and indoor playground there, she suddenly grew very active and started to play with the slides, the car, etc. We didn’t wait long before we were called in. The doctor in charge measured her temperature – it was 38.6′C! We all got a shock. So, he prescribed her antibiotics (Zithromax Susp), Actihist Co Syrup (for running nose/cough) and Paracetamol. He also asked the nurse to administer the suppository for her since she’s having such a high fever. We were given some to take back with us, in case her fever couldn’t subside. We were told that if she’s still having fever after 48 hours, we should bring her back to the clinic again.

We went home, but Sze Yi wouldn’t want to sleep. She wanted to see Barney instead. It was already 1am in the morning. So we had to accompany her. If we insisted of not letting her, the little monster would scream until the roof came down and still crying.  We have no choice.

All of us were really tired and drained out during this period. Despite her being sick and taking all the medicines, she still slept very late and demanded to watch Barney. So we took turn accompanying her, there’s once when I could only sleep after 4am. Later, MIL woke up to relieve me. Guess what time that little girl slept? 5am! That was a great record.

Well, it had not been easy feeding her medicine after that. She hated the antibiotics, and it took us lots of coaxing to get her to eat. We didn’t use force since the medicine would surely spilled instead of going into her mouth. So, we use Barney as the bribe. “If you take this medicine, Mommy will let you watch Barney”. It didn’t work all the time, so I’ll need Daddy’s creative idea. Sometimes I would accosicate the color of the medicine with strawberry, orange, etc… Or hubby would say “Szeyi, come mum mum…” since she loves food. It’s getting harder to get her to eat the medicine each day, but thank goodness she finally completed her antibiotics and so now I only gave her the cough/runny noise syrup once at night, since her cough was very rare and mild.

We also noticed that she’s much stronger this time. Hubby commented that she fought the battle well because she recovered very fast. She looks thinner now, because we didn’t feed her rice or porridge for fear of her getting a fever again. Her appetite went down, and only drank milk for the past one week. However, I noticed that she’s very active again by Wednesday, no more fever at all and I have never been so glad. Maybe I should refrain from commenting about her size again, since each child will grow according to her own pace and rhythm.  I think I’ve learnt my lesson

SAHM or FTWM?

This is also another tag which is supposed to be my homework during the replacement holidays in July.

If given a choice, what would I choose to be? SAHM (Stay At Home Mother) or FTWM (Full Time Working Mother)? I have been thinking a lot about this lately, and can’t really make up my mind.   

Ideally, I would want to be a SAHM because:

1. I would like to spend more time with my baby. She’s my joy and my love, and I want to be there for her when she needs me most. It’s always satisfying to watch her grow and learn new things each day.

2. Recently my girl has started to show signs of being out of control. She is addicted to the TV and could watch her favourite Barney/Baby Einstein series for the whole day, even if it’s the same one. She is also getting very naughty and hard to teach. Hubby wants me to resign so that I could correct her and teach her. Both of us are aware that the first 3 years last forever. And the best people to help develop her are none other than the parents. 

3. Everytime she cries when I left for work, my heart would ache and wish that I don’t need to leave her. I would always tell myself to come back earlier that day, but failed most of the time due to my work load.  So, if I don’t need to work, I won’t face this dilemma anymore.

4. Being a Cancerian, I’m a homey person. I love to keep my house clean and neat, and cook for the family. I have just moved to a new place, and I enjoy decorating and improving it. I have also insisted to have a built-in oven so that I could learn to bake (which I’ve just used only once till now). But since I’m working during the day and occupied with Sze Yi and the house chores during the nights and weekends, I could hardly do all these.

5. However, since doing house chores takes up a lot of my time, I would prefer to have a part-time maid to help me with it so that I could spend more quality time with my girl. So that when she’s sleeping, I could at least do some readings or blog instead of catching up with a pile of laundries or unwashed dishes. But I know this won’t happen because I won’t be able to afford it if I’m not working, unless hubby could sponsor me.  

However, reality bites. It’s hard for me to give up my career now because:

1. I won’t get to spend as I wish anymore. And I won’t be able to get Szeyi things that I felt she should have, but hubby doesn’t think so. I love to dress her up, and wouldn’t mind buying expensive stuffs for her. But to hubby, it’s a waste of money.

2. I’m staying with my mother-in-law. I felt that since she’s around, it will be redundant for me to stay at home too – two non-working lady full time on a toddler? I might as well work to earn some extra money for the family. Furthermore, since we both have different ways of doing things, it’s always better to stay out of each other’s way whenever possible to avoid any misunderstandings.

3. If I’m not working, how could I give my parents their monthly allowance? I couldn’t expect hubby to do that for me since he has his own parent/siblings to take care too. 

4. I’m already so outdated when it comes to general knowledge, so if I’m not working, I might end up being like a frog under the shell (katak di bawah tempurung). I get a lot of updates from my colleagues and friends, so if I lost this source of info, how could I bring up Sze Yi well?    

5. I’m not sure if I could stand the thought of just being at home the whole day with an active toddler. Sometimes during the weekends, when hubby is not around, I would feel helpless of not knowing what to do with her, and get overwhelmed easily with her whimps and demands. So I’m not sure if I could handle her all alone for 7 days a week. 

So, based on all this, I decided that I wanted a half-day kind of job so that I could have my own income and spend time with my baby. I’m not sure if this is called part-time working mother, but my mother is considered a full time working mother too, and yet she gets to spend nearly half a day with us because she’s a teacher. When I was small, I would be anxiously waiting for her to come back so that I can tell her about my days at school. To me, the ~1 hour wait is like eternity, so I can’t imagine next time Sze Yi would need to wait for at least a good 6 hours before I came back from work. I think I really need to start looking for a job with such nature – that is shorter working hours. And I can’t deny the fact that my income will reduce too, of course. But it’s better than none and I get the best of both worlds. So, I guess the right term to use is still a PTWM (Part Time Working Mother) maybe after I have my 2nd child.

~~~Instructions~~~
Here’s how it works:
1. So easy peasy, if you were given a choice, would you be a SAHM or FTWM? Just provide 3 darn good reasons.
2. Include your post link to the list below and Finally,
3. Tag another three mommies

1. Immomsdaughter prefers to be a SAHM
2. Miche prefers to be a SAHM too.
3. SYH prefers to be a PTWM
4. Everydayhealy prefers to be a SAHM
5. Angeleyes prefers to be WAHM
6. Giddy Tiger prefers to be an SAHM
7. Jin Miin prefer to be a PTWM
8. WS prefer to be a FTWM
9. Angie prefer to be PTWM
10. Pei Sze prefer to be a FTWM at the moment and SAHM 41/2 years later.

11. Irene prefers to be a FTWM at the moment and PTWM after she has her 2^nd child.

~~~End of Instructions~~~

And I can’t think of anyone else to tag since I’ve seen this in everyone’s blog – except for Charlotte’s mommy again

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus…

So, is that why they kept pissing each other off? Well, I got tagged by Pei Sze many moons ago regarding how hubby and I pissed each other off. I did not have time for this then, and I also didn’t know how to write that from my baby’s perspective in her blog (I didn’t have my own blog then). Well, but I think this is a very interesting topic and this is also part of the reason why I create a blog of my own!

Hubby ticks me off when/because:

1.        He likes to take his own sweet time to do a certain task and keeps putting things off until the very last minute. And when I keep on reminding him about it, he’ll say that I like to complain.

2.       He spends too much time in front of the TV and hardly budges when I asked him to help out with the house chores.  

3.      He must include his mom in all our outings, and we hardly spend enough time with each other.

4.      He hardly goes shopping with me, and if he ever does, I will end up not buying anything because they are either not necessary or a waste of money. And if I ask his opinion about a certain thing, he’ll ask me back “Which do you like better?”

5.      When I tell him my problems, I will always end up being lectured by him instead of finding consolation.

I drive hubby mad when/because:

1.        I bring my work emotions home. I also work late most of the time and since we’re car pooling, he has to wait for me. 

2.       He doesn’t think that I know how to relax and enjoy life. I can’t sit still if there are still works that need to be attended to. And I will expect him to do the same. So he will always felt pressured because he’s the opposite of me. He takes things slow and easy.

3.       I love to spend. Sometimes I would buy unnecessary items, just because they are on sale. I also have the tendency to go for higher quality stuffs, which is more pricey by nature. So, when I bought something for myself or Sze Yi, I wouldn’t tell him how much it is unless he asks, for fear of being lectured again.  But if it’s for him, then I’ll specifically mention the price because I know he wouldn’t mine  

4.       To him, I’m always complaining. I will be easily upset over a small issue and would go on talking about it. Actually I’m looking for consolation, but he sees me as giving him more problems to solve!  

5.       I will insist for lots of small details when I ask him questions, which he thinks is not important and irritating. And I can’t help replying his short answers with more questions.

There, I’ve finally completed the tag. I personally felt that we step on each other’s toe without us knowing it most of the time. It’s been part of our habits, which attracts us to each other in the first place. So, by doing this tag, it actually helps us to be better aware of our little faults and learn to improve it at the same time.

Now, who should I pass this tag on? I guess most of my fellow bloggers would have done this by now, but hey, I found someone who hasn’t. So I’m going to tag on:

1. Charlotte’s Mommy : Sorry dear, but I’m sure it would be interesting to know

Daddy’s Princess

Finally Daddy came home, after 2 weeks. The most excited person was of course Sze Yi. I went home earlier than usual that day. Sze Yi was still having her afternoon nap. After I’ve taken my bath, I went to check on her. Since she’s still sleeping, I decided to do some ironing. Halfway thru, she woke up. MIL and I told her that Daddy was coming home that day. How excited she was! So I decided to carry her down to the guard house there to wait for Daddy. She didn’t even want to walk on her own, but asked me to carry her instead. On any other normal days, she would be struggling to be let down to walk on  her own.

When Daddy arrived, Sze Yi asked him to carry her. So I ended up being the porter instead! Well, since then, she’s stuck to Daddy like a glue. Everything must be Dad Dad. If she fell down or knocked herself accidentally, she must go to inform Daddy to get his symphaty, no matter how minor it was. If she discovered something new, Daddy must be the first to know. And if she had a little achievement, she would go tell Daddy and make him proud of her. She really knew how to steal Daddy’s heart.

For the past two weeks, I could hardly do anything once I reached home because she would ask me to feed her (she would pushed Amah away when MIL tried to relieve me so that I could have my dinner) . She wouldn’t even let me have my dinner nor bath. I had to bring her in with me to my room (thanks goodness I had an attached bathroom) and asked her to view her photo albums while waiting for me to have my bath. Sometimes she would quietly wait for me, but most of the time, she would keep on checking on me and urging me to speed up. But then, after Daddy came back, I couldn’t say how relieved I was. I was suddenly so free. She no longer demanded my attention, because everything would be Dad Dad. That’s why I had some time to blog lately.

Daddy bought lots of gifts for his little princess. It was not like him because he would normally say that it was a waste of money when I got her expensive stuffs. Even getting a car seat had received a lot of objections from him last time. But somehow this time, everything that he bought, they were all hers. Nothing for Mommy at all! Look at what he had bought for her! I was especially attracted to this blouse. 

He told me that it was rather expensive, compared to the other clothes that he had bought for her. Furthermore, this was not from a branded design. But what really stuck him were the verdings “I get my good looks from my Dad”. He really like to show off, don’t you think so?

Another significant changes that I observed was that Daddy is more patient this time. He could play with SzeYi longer, not like last time when he would grow tired easily and asked either me or MIL to take over. Even the tiredness from jet lag was nothing compared to his little princess’ attention. Well, that was a really good improvement and I was really impressed with how situation changed. Hopefully that would last…

Learning to let go…

I came back from work last Thursday evening and my MIL told me that Szeyi has thrown her pacifier down the balcony. She asked me to get her a new one by that night or else she’d have problem sleeping. I told my MIL that since she’s the one who threw it away, that was a good opportunity to let her stop sucking the pacifier.

Surprisingly, Szeyi didn’t cry when we told her no more pacifier for her. She’d ask for it after her milk (as she always does), when she’s trying to sleep. I would ask her, “Who throw the chut chut away?” And she’d answer ”Yi”, while pointing to herself. So I told her that since she’s the one who threw it away, she had to bear with it. And she’d nod her head and didn’t say anything about pacifier anymore.

Of course, her behaviour changed a lot since then. She was very clingy and wouldn’t have her afternoon nap. By night time, she would get restless but still couldn’t go to sleep. Instead, she would ask me to hold her and craddle her to sleep, and even after she had dozed off, she wouldn’t let me put her down. I also noticed that she would look for something to munch everytime she missed her pacifier, and she had resorted to biscuits. MIL purposely bought the Japanese crackers for her to munch, and switched to another type a few days later because the first one was a bit too salty. Other than that, Szeyi had developed a tendency to suck her toys (she did that even before she was pacifierless but not so frequent). MIL taught her to suck her thumb instead. But she prefered her forefinger. I tried to let her find comfort in her hanky, but she didn’t like it. I had also tried to wrap her thumb with her handkerchief and asked her to suck on it. She got excited at first, but that still couldn’t give her the comfort that she was looking for.

Since it was already Thursday, and there was only one more day to go before the weekends, I told my MIL that no matter how difficult it was, I would help Szeyi go thru this stage, even if it meant no sleep for me. I thought I could train her during the weekends. How wrong I was. She didn’t have any afternoon naps, and requested for 100% of my attention. By Sunday night, I was too exhausted. I felt that she had lost a sense of security without the pacifier. And I was not sure if what I was doing was right. Should I be persistent in not giving her the pacifier? However, when I asked her, do you want Mommy to buy you a new chut chut? She will shake her head and said mai (no in hokkien). And she never asked for it since then. But both MIL and I knew that she’s having  a difficult time, she missed her pacifier but wouldn’t tell us so. MIL always try to console her by telling her she’ll buy her a new one. And Szeyi would either ignore her or declined her offer. How mature she is! She knows that we don’t like her to have the pacifier. 

On Monday night, which was the 5th day she was without her pacifier, MIL complained that she couldn’t get anything done when I came back from work. She said Szeyi clinged to her like a glue and was very demanding. Last time, when we played her a certain song, she’d be contented and sang along. But now, she’d request us to change the CDs and played another song. After listening for sometime, she’d request a different one. This would go on forever, and it was really frustrating. And now when she slept, it’s back to her baby’s days where she’d want us to cradle her or carry her even after she’s dozed off.

Deep inside me, I refused to give up. I felt that this is a good chance for me to stop her relying on the pacifier, since she didn’t really cry for it. She could still eat and sleep (though sleeping is a big headache), unlike her Daddy where he wouldn’t drink milk for 3 days when he was going thru this stage). However, I felt that Szeyi was not ready yet. She had lost her sense of security. Maybe it’s worst with her Daddy not around her during this time. Furthermore, since she had developed a tendency to chew on biscuits everytime she missed her pacifier, I was afraid that it would become a habit and put on weight soon. So, based on all this reasoning, I decided to buy her a new one. Initially, I wanted to wait for her Daddy to return (4 more days to go!) to let him decide if we should get her a new one. But I couldn’t wait. I was too tired. And so was MIL.

On our way to Jusco, MIL asked Szeyi, “Amah buy chut chut for you, ok?” She said “Mai“. Then MIL said, “Mommy buy chut chut for you, ok?” She think for awhile, and then she nodded. Then, when I unbuckled her from her car seat, she looked at me and said, Mama, Ai!”. And she smiled so happily and sweetly. That’s the first time she ever said she wanted a new pacifier since she threw it down the balcony 5 days ago. And she needed my approval for that. I guess I would try again when I felt she is more ready.

Missing Dad Dad?

I noticed that for the past two weeks, Sze Yi is extremely close to Daddy. It surprised me that she doesn’t want me to do certain things for her, like changing her nappy, feeding her porridge, playing with her, etc but insisted for Daddy instead. Last time, I’m the #1 person that she’ll go to, and she sticks to me like a glue. So it was quite difficult for me to adapt at first, as I felt that she no longer wants me. But on the brighter side, I suddenly have more time of my own, as I could do what I want while Daddy entertains our little princess.

Then, Daddy needed to go for a 2-week business trip. We were all anxious on how she would react when Daddy is not at home. After sending Daddy off at the airport, she came back and had a long nap. Everything was as normal, she didn’t even cry when sending Daddy off. She gave him a friend kiss and said bye bye very sweetly.

Then, after she woke up, Amah told her Dad Dad won’t be coming back tonight. Here’s their conversation:

Amah: Dad Dad sit aeroplane fly already. Dad Dad won’t be coming back to sleep tonight

Sze Yi: U (meaning, got – in Hokkien). Kai Kai (just go out for a walk).

She said it so confidently that we all can’t help laughing. Then things are back to normal. Night time came, I mentioned to Amah that she doesn’t show any sign of missing Daddy. Amah said that’s her way, she was like that too when both of us went to Europe last year and Hawaii recently. The only tell tale sign was that she couldn’t sleep at night, and it would be much much later than normal (even when we are around, she only sleeps at around 1-2am!).  Later at night, I noticed that she’s getting restless, so Ah Mah suggested to let her smell Daddy’s blanket. She pushed it away! Hmm…so, she haven’t missed Daddy yet.

Then, she requested me to show her the photo albums. We compiled all her photos from the time she’s born up to the recent ones, and she loves to look at it especially when she wants to sleep. So here’s the interesting part. She pointed at me in one of the photos and say “Dad Dad”. I told her, ”No, this is Mommy. That is Dad Dad”. She argued with me and kept on saying Dad Dad angrily for a few times. Then, after that, she started to point to everyone (including herself, Amah, me)  and said “Dad Dad”.

Today is the 4th day after Daddy left, or the 2nd working day where Daddy was not around. When I came back from work, she’s getting very sticky again. I could hardly eat or bathe. She asked me to carry her to my room. Right after I opened the door, she pointed to where Daddy sleep, and said Dad Dad. I told her Dad Dad is not back yet. Then she proceeded to take the Hello Kitty bride & bridegroom pair on our bed and said Dad Dad (pointing to the bridgegroom cat). Daddy has taught her that the bridegroom is Daddy, and the bride is Mommy). Well, she carried them both out to the hall, and played with them for awhile. After sometime, I noticed that she only took the bridgegroom cat back to our room, without the bride (me!). She carried “Daddy” everywhere with her. Is this another sign that she missed Daddy?

Well, but when I asked her where is Daddy? She’ll imitate the aeroplane sound and do the flying act to say that Daddy is in the aeroplane. When she heard the aeroplane flying past our condo, Amah will say “Daddy sits aeroplane and fly to US already”. She will say ”Bye”, and waved her hand.

Luckily tonight she managed to skype with Daddy. We can see the excitement in her voice, when she keeps on calling Dad Dad. They chatted for a while (Daddy talked most of the time) while Sze Yi was busily typing on the chat box. Poor Daddy can’t understand what she’s trying to tell him. When Daddy needs to end the conversation, Sze Yi automatically said “Night Night” and close my laptop cover!

After that, she went into my room and doze off, without much fuss, unlike other days. She certainly had a very sound sleep after talking to her beloved Daddy!